7/31/2004
Bits and Pieces
I've been growing a beard over the last month or so and it was looking pretty scraggly for a while. About two weeks ago I go in the back door of the local courthouse (used by lawyers, police, and employees) and walk thru the Sheriff's area on my way to the elevator leading to the courts. There's a work detail from the jail moving a bunch of furniture from the rooms into the hall (who knows why). After I pass two of the prisoners one turns to the other and ask, "Who's that?" The second, without even hesitating, replies, "He's a narc."
I finally watched the Kings of Comedy DVD I bought a while back. If you watch the deleted scenes D.L. Hughley talks what it's like to visit someone in jail.
Last week I left my office door open as I went across the hall to visit the WC. When I came back the psychiatrist who has the office a the bottom of the stairs had just walked in. She looks up at my medals and asks if I was really in military intelligence. Then she looks at my W&L Law diploma between the portraits of Washington and Lee. Next she looks at the statue I have sitting in top of my file cabinet, gets a strange look on her face, and asks about the guy standing on a gargoyle. I explain that it's St. Michael defeating the Devil and she sort of dismisses it. She looks at the wall behind my desk and asks "What are those?" I explain that they are war hammers and that they are kind of a play on my name. She takes a final look around the office: "This office is just so . . . Male."
I'm talking to a fellow Defense attorney. He's of Italian descent and I ask him if he is a member of some Italian-American group I saw on C-Span. He tells me he gets their e-mails but won't join because he cannot go to meetings. When I ask him why not he answers: "Because if you are Italian and you go to meetings with other Italians you end up on a bunch of film over at the FBI."
I rented a car for a few days while my Saab was being brought up to spec so that it is legal to drive in Virginia. When I return the car a couple of employees are kind enough to give me a ride back to my office. Half way there one of them says "Hey, you're the guy who's representing the girl who stole our car in March." And, sure enough, I am. They're not upset; they think it's funny. This is happening to me more often. The judges know where my office is so if someone has a charge in Midlothian they will assign the case to me. Of course, the people who start turning out to be complaining witnesses are the clerks at the gas station I use, the employees at the rental agency, the girl who cuts my hair, etc. So far no one's been too upset about it which is of no little importance when the lady standing behind you with scissors realizes who you are.
I'm sitting in court last Friday talking to the prosecutor while we wait for the clerk to call all the kids accused of striking the guards with intent to injure. As a joke, he looks up the Virginian anti-terrorist statute to see if it could apply to these kids. It could. The basic test is whether the act was done to influence a government official. Fighting with a guard because they won't let you have salad could be seen as trying to get them to allow you to eat more. You'd have to read the statute broadly (and have a friendly judge) but it's definitely a charge a prosecutor could make with a straight face.
Ambush in Bartlette
Chapters 1 - 13
Chapters 1 - 13
Law & Theory
- LAWS
- Va.'s Versions of Mayhem (malicious wounding et al): 4 In One Statute ~ Graphic
- Aggravated Malicious Wounding
- The Moped Exception
- Rape by Lie: 1 ~ 2 ~ 3
- No Intent Needed
- Arresting in a House
- Common Law Trespass
- Certificate of Analysis Introduction
- Probable Cause: Car Passengers
- Obstruction of Justice Limited
- Stealing Electronic Items
- Stolen Value: Price Tags
- Stolen Value: No Price Tags
- Stolen Value: Electronic Items
- No Weekend Jail on Felonies
- Obstruction of Justice Limited
- No Trifurcation
- No More Beer at the Barbeque
- Respondeat Superior
- DUI & Reckless Driving
- Can You Steal From the Dead?
- Outlawry Outlawed
- Felony 2d Degree Murder
- Banishment
- Computer Fraud
- Insta-Deputy
- PROCEDURE
- Using Statements Made During Plea Negotiations: 1 ~ 2a ~ 2b ~ 2c
- Invoking Right to Attorney in Virginia
- Who Prosecutes Misdemeanors?
- Expungement
- Surrebuttal
- Virginia's Reasonable Doubt
- Reasonable Doubt II
- Instruction: Right to Arm
- Virginia Castle Doctrine1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~
- Dismissed with Prejudice
- SENTENCING
- I. Limitations on Right of Judge to Alter a Sentence
- II. Limitations on Right of Judge to Alter a Sentence
- III. Limitations on Right of Judge to Alter a Sentence
- Probation & Suspended Time
- Advisement in Virginia
- Jury v. Judge (sentencing roles)
- Limits on Evidence Presentable to a Jury
- Jury Sentencing Possibilities
- &CETERA
- Witnesses & Writ of Actual Innocence
- Domestic Battery & Firearm Possession
- Domestic Battery & Testimony I
- Domestic Battery & Testimony II
- Domestic Battery & Testimony III
- Domestic Battery & Testimony IV
- Shall Doesn't Mean Shall
- Just Following Orders
- Lycurgus Not Welcome in Virginia
Practice Tips
Specific Cases
- Jones:Trespass = Search
- Shatzer:4th Amendment Expiration Date
- Gant: Limiting Car Searches
- Montejo: No more 6th Amendment Protections
- Padilla & the Prosecutor
- Ventris: Allowing Unconstitutional Questioning
- Carroll Doctrine
Legal Theory
- Best Way to Choose a Judge
- What's a Prosecutor?
- Defense Attorney Purpose
- Plea Agreement Actualities
- The Big 4: Why I can't Go To Jail: 1 ~ 2
- Liquor Use Laws
- How to Fix Va.'s Court of Appeals
- Punishment Scale
- Punishment Scale Explained
- Punishment: There but for the Grace of God
- Heavy Sentences (1)
- Heavy Sentences (2)
- Probation
- Change Felonies to Misdemeanors
- Do Justice?
- Kentucky v. Virginia
- Must Prosecutors Disprove Affirmative Defenses?
- Drug Schedules & Punishment
- Defendants & Situational Sincerity
- 1) Immorality in Pleading Not Guilty
- 2) Immorality of Pleading Not Guilty
- Posner v. Hart & Strict Liability
- More Posner & Strict Liability
- Pre-Stare Decisis
- Let Juries Find People Innocent
- Tell Jury Elements Pretrial
- Falsity of Malum Prohibitum (1)
- Falsity of Malum Prohibitum (2)
- Falsity of Malum Prohibitum (3)
- Brady
- Writ of Spite & Hatred
- Various Riot Acts
- Tazers
- Finding of Innocent
- No Appellate Oral Arguments
- CrimJustice Purpose
- Pro Se Defendants
- Misdirecting the Police
- Stress Seekers?
- Plea Agreement
- Faking Probable Cause I
- Faking Probable Cause II
- Faking Probable Cause III
- Faking Probable Cause IV
- Legalese: Name Changes
- How Could We Best Select a Judge
- RICO & Bin Laden
- Requirement of Defense Attorneys
- Should Lawyers Make Clients Confess?
- Crummy Hired Defense Attorneys
- Noble Defense?
Back When I was a Defense Attorney
FEB03
Jury
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A Week in the Life
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A Week in the Life
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A Week in the Life
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A Week in the Life
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5 Events
A Needed Sign
A Week in the Life
Trial Desperation
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
Quick Panic
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Supress Motion
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
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A Week in the Life
Closing Argument
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A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
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A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
A Week in the Life
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Chocolate Chip Marijuana
A Week in the Life
High School Critique
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A Week in the Life
Cripple v. Cop
01 Long Week
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03 Long Week
04 Long Week
05 Long Week
I'm a Narc
AUG04
Frustrating Day
Damn Yankee Defense
A Week in the Life
SEP04
Angry Relative
01 Long Week
OCT04
01 Long Week
02 Long Week
03 Long Week
04 Long Week
-----
01 Long Week
02 Long Week
03 Long Week
NOV04
Client Families
DEC04
01 Long Week
02 Long Week
03 Long Week
04 Long Week
05 Long Week
06 Long Week
Surprise at Prelim
Confronted
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Violent Insane Client
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Fail to Visit
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Trial of the Century
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Angry Jury 02
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My Own PI
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A Moment in Court
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Huh?
Raccoon Attack
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Picking on a Prosecutor Intern
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Torture by Judge
A Federal Habeas
NOV05
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Petition Freak Out
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Moments in the Life
State Habeas
DEC05
Moments in the Life
JAN06
Jury Trial Fizzle
FEB06
A Bench Trial
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A Prosecutor Tries to do Right
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What Just Happened?
Va. Worse than Conn.
Illness as a Defense Attorney
Failed Prison Visit
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Heard in a Courthouse
Appellate Court Argument 01
Va. Court of Appeals
MAY06
Heard in Court
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Bad Press
Entire History of a Trial
Bad Press 02
JUL06
I Must be too Good
AUG06
Announce Becoming Prosecutor
The Last Life in a Week
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Client Communication
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CYA Letter: Felony Client
CYA Letter: Appeal
-----
Dear Mr. Jailhouse LawyerConversation between Inmates about Lawyers
Innocent Client Pleads Guilty
Client Parents
Time as a Prosecutor
JAN07
The New Office
FEB07
Different Court Diferent Behavior
Competency
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Cats
Ma'am I'm the Prosecutor
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I know nothing
23 Felonies
JUL07
Cross
Cross II
2d Simplest Explanation
OCT07
Jury
FEB08
CrimLaw Prosecutorial Corollary #1
MAY08
Paranoia
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Why Not Drop?
JUL09
Buy Me Dinner First
AUG09
Jury Sentencing Argument
SEP09
Is Litter Patrol Jail?
OCT09
Paperwork Closing Argument
APR10
Bubonic Bob & the Creative Judge
JUL10
Finding the Perfect Witness
APR12
Small Town Cop : Big City Lawyer
JUN12
Maturity Ain't Orange
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Harris Co. Crim Justice
...
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day by day
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Legal Scholarship Blog
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In case anyone out there needs this warning: This ain't legal advice. Everything in the blog is off the cuff and no one goes back and reads all the cases and statutes before blogging. The law may have changed; cases misread and misunderstood two years ago can still lead to a clinging misperception. Courts in your county, city, or State probably don't operate as described herein. Feel free to be inspired, but YOU MUST ALWAYS DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH OR HIRE A COMPETENT ATTORNEY TO DO SO because I haven't.
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