"I don’t have the patience to listen to incessant whining about . . . how the DA is out to get you . . . The DA does not know or care who the hell you are much less spend a lot of time devising ways to ruin your life."
Okay, who spilled the beans? Who told a defense attorney that I actually have 150 felony files and that I don't spend all my time - every single second of my day - trying to make his particular client's life miserable? How am I supposed to maintain my veneer of pure, unadulterated, power-mad megalomania if defense attorneys (and, by extension, their clients) start understanding that I don't know the defendant from Adam and I'm just trying to make an appropriate offer. Oh! The Humanity!
Well, if we're going to go down this route, there is one note I'd like to make for defense counsel. Let's call it CrimLaw Prosecutorial Corollary #1.
CrimLaw Prosecutorial Corollary #1: Catching me in the hall to talk to me about a case more than 3 days in the future is a useless endeavor. I've got about 150 files with cases constantly coming in and going out. I've prepped for the 5 felonies I have today. I've probably prepped for the 7 felonies I have for tomorrow. The Greene case is 45 days down the road. Unless I have the file in front of me, or your client is Harold "Gory" Greene (the Bank of Pitcairn axe murderer), I don't have the Greene case anywhere near the thinking part of my brain. In any event, I'm not going to agree to anything without looking at the file. Even if I did, without the file there to write notes in I wouldn't remember any agreement. So, just stop. Please. And this goes double for those out there who think it's a good idea to stop by my table during lunch and ask me about a couple cases. I'm a simple man; my brain disengages during lunch. I'm of no use to anyone at that time. Honest.