Inmate 162534 walks back into the pod and starts talking with inmate 435261:
435261: Where you been?
162534: I was messing with my lawyer.
162534: He had a new offer for a plea agreement which would make 4 of my 5 felonies go away and 2 of my 3 misdemeanors. I'd have to serve 6 months in jail on the felony and 6 months on the misdemeanor. I told him I wouldn't agree to anything more than 6 months total.
435261: You have two bank robberies in your past. You'll never get that short a sentence.
162534: Yeah, I know, but it was fun watching his face turn red and then pretending that I didn't understand when he explained that the deal is the best I'm going to get with my record. Then I started complaining that I was going to have suspended time and probation.
435261: But everybody gets suspended time and probation.
162534: Yep, and you should have seen his eyes bug out. He spent 15 minutes explaining to me that everybody gets suspended time. I finally let the guy off the hook and said I understood the third time he explained it. Then I asked him if he could get the judge to run the two six month sentences concurrent.
162534: He started trying to explain how the deal as it stands is the least time I could get, but I cut him off and said that other people in here are getting deals on 14 or 15 felonies which are better than the deal he got for me.
435261: Really? Who?
162534: Nobody, it was just fun watching him splutter. And then, just as he started to recover and try answering, I hit him with "but they've all got paid lawyers."
435261: LOL - What'd he do?
162534: His face turned purple. I thought his head was going to explode. He started telling me how he is a paid attorney 'cuz all the attorneys in this county are court appointed. So then I hit him with "You only take cases because the judge makes you and you don't work hard on them 'cuz you don't get paid."
435261: OMG! What did he do?
162534: He started explaining to me his ethical duties and how he doesn't short appointed clients . . . blah, blah, blah. It was boring so I hit him with the next thing. I told him I wanted a jury trial.
435261: ROFL - And he believed you?
162534: He about panicked. I led him on for about another 10 minutes while he went over how overwhelming the evidence is and tried to explain to me how bad a sentence the jury would probably give me.
435261: Did you ever let him off the hook?
162534: Not exactly. I let him explain it all to me again and then I told him that I had to think about it. I'll string him along until the morning of the trial and then I'll tell him I'm taking the deal.
435261: Dude, you are just mean.
162534: Yep, but it was fun and killed two hours.