Looks like my internet connection has started working again, and here are some of the things I've found:
1) The Ramseys really didn't do it.
2) New Orleans PD decided to punish an officer 15 minutes before he retired because he wore a uniform which it didn't use anymore, but is going to use in the future.
3) Don't steal socks in Missouri.
4) It's just a bad day when you step off the train and 8 policemen stick their pistols in your face (especially if you ain't done nothing).
5) Why we don't see DNA in shoplifting cases.
6) Just remember, it's rape to have sex with a corpse in Minnesota (the corpse cannot consent to sex).
7) Naked beer thief abducts a bus full of people (just remember, it happened in Vegas, so he has to stay in Vegas - Thank Heaven).
8) And the hottest car of the year is . . .
9) Scumbag Dad Award: using a two year old to keep police from tazing him.