09 July 2007

Unusual, Strange, and Silly

1) After murdering 4 people and getting 21 years in prison a NZ inmate is now set to get an expensive bone marrow transplant to save his life. The victim's family's reaction? "He's sick. Rather than spend a million dollars on him, just spend a few dollars on an ounce of lead."

2) Police in the Philippines don't seem to favor the new fangled idea that a suspect should be given a "time-out" in the middle of a chase.

3) Y'know what? If you are going to commit consensual statutory rape, it's pretty dumb to do it on a highway.

4) A lot of soldiers are bold, but offering to sell a howitzer takes big brass ones.

5) Remind me not to get in a fight with Tacoma Officer Darren Kelly. I like my fingers right where they are, thank you.

6) Things I've never had the guts to say to a judge: "I bet if you took a poll in here everybody would say this is a kangaroo court."

7) Backdating is a crime? So, like, if I run into an old flame I can't date her anymore?

8) And then there's the idiot who tries to smuggle heroin into jail by sewing it in the court clothes for the defendant. It might sound innovative, but the deputies have seen that trick a few million times before.

9) Threatening to kill the jurors and their families if they find you guilty probably isn't the best trial tactic. This is actually a step in the right direction for this guy. The last time they tried to try him on this charge there was a mistrial after he actually slugged a juror.

10) 71 years young and still patrolling the mean streets.

11) Tired of your blackberry? Can't afford the new iPhone? Good news! Prisoners everywhere have worked out a communication system that doesn't cost a dime. All you have to do is speak into the toilet . . .

12) In NY you're not under the influence if the drug was huffed, but in NJ you are under the influence even if it's just a hangover.

13) Important lesson of NZ appellate practice: if the papers aren't stapled together you can appeal your conviction.

14) The ongoing battle over letting Californians smoke pot when they stub their toes is still ongoing.

15) Proof that a well planned escape is not necessarily a successful escape.

16) And, why doesn't the juvenile offender need to be tested for alcohol?

17) I guess if you have to impersonate somebody, Merle Haggard's son is as good as anybody else.

18) What happens when you try to ram a police car and then make a U-turn and try to ram him again? "[W]ith enough manpower, a K-9 deployment and the application of a Taser stun device, the suspect was subdued." So, what's the appropriate charge here? Attempted suicide by cop?

19) Don't burglarize a house next door to an FBI agent. Although, it was actually a different neighbor who finally ran the guy down.

No comments: