The Northern Virginia Federal Congressional Penitentiary

Norm & Scott have suggested that for legislators to serve they should have to spend 6 months in prison so that they know what's happening to people subject to the laws they pass. Somehow, I just don't see it working out that way . . .
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Warden: Nancy Pelosi
76 Lyndon Baines Johnson Road
Alexandria, Virginia 22306

Security Level: Ultra-Low

Assignment Criteria: Election to Congress or conviction of graft while a sitting federal legislator.

Special Programs: Golf rehabilitation program. Cute Aide withdrawal therapy.

Incarceration Program: Inmates are housed two to a room and are locked down from midnight until 6 a.m. There is only one phone per room and calls are limited to 3 hours per day and may not be received except between the hours of 9 a.m. and 10 p.m. Inmates must supervise cleanup of the tennis courts, gym, and golf course between 9-11 a.m. daily.

Punishment of misbehavior: Institutional sanctions are punished by solitary confinement in a room with no honor bar, no premium cable, and no turn-down service. In order to avoid issues the 8th Amendment no institutional sanction shall last longer than 3 days.

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