My business cell phone has a voicmail wherein I say something to the effect of "If I'm not answering the phone I'm in court, at a jail visiting a client, in a meeting, or it's after 8:00 p.m. . . ." I get back to my car this afternoon and there is a message from a secretary of one of the Commonwealth attorneys' offices trying to get my potential court dates for the next term of circuit court. However, she starts her message by pointing out that I didn't state the most important reason I might not be answering the phone - "because you're too drunk."
I have no idea where people get these strange ideas about me.