13 June 2003




How Life as a Criminal Lawyer has Affected Me.

As I stood in line at the grocery the woman behind the counter says: "Hi there, Mr. Lawyer-Man." Instantly alarm bells start going off in my head and I look at her. She isn't a client or witness (at least not in something recent) so I just say "Hi" back and go to pay and leave. "Don't you want to know how I know you're a lawyer?" Nope; time to try and be evasive: "Well, I assume you've seen me in court." The reply: "You don't wanna know how I know you're a lawyer." At which point I took my proffered bag and left.

This event led to me thinking about how being a criminal defense lawyer has affected me in my life outside the courts.

Perhaps the greatest effect is that I moved because of it. When I first moved into the Richmond area I lived in a nasty apartment in a less than opulent part of the city. But it was extremely cheap and that's what I needed as I studied for the bar and tried to get my own practice off the ground. I started getting appointed clients who lived a block to the north of me or a couple blocks east &cetera and it was always in the back of my mind that I should move but the price kept me there because money was always needed elsewhere. Then one night at around 1 a.m. someone was beating on my front door. I did perhaps the stupidest thing I have done in a long time and actually opened it. I stood there - face to face - with one of my clients. We stared at each other for a couple seconds and he finally asked me if "Joe" was there; I pointed out that Joe lived upstairs and he went over to the door leading upstairs; I closed the door as he yelled for Joe and they left together. Neither of us acknowledged that we recognized each other but it was pretty damn obvious he realized who I was. I moved as quickly as I could after that; this was a client who had committed his act in front of a video camera, demanded a jury trial (over my advice), gotten 3 times what he would have from a judge, and blamed me. The only reason he was on the street was because he had posted an appeal bond and, I learned a couple days later, had ducked his bondsman when the bondsman decided he was too much of a risk and bailpieced him. I don't really regret the move (to a much nicer apartment in Chesterfield County) but I did have to give up my ferrets because my new apartment would let me have a combination of cats and dogs up to 100lbs. but not a single 3-5lb. ferret.

My point of view has also changed. Three examples: {1} As I walked into a store a couple days ago and a kid is on the sidewalk trying to sell T-shirts to "help the homeless." Is my first thought "gee, isn't that swell?" No, my first thought is to wonder whether the kid is a Traveler. {2} I also find myself looking for a store's electronic security. I notice all the black bubbles and two way mirrors which cameras are hidden behind and what they cover because I've gone to so many stores looking to see if store security could really see what they claim to have watched my client doing ("I was taping suspect 1 and 2 while I watched suspect 3 . . ."). {3} I'm gun-shy of being recognized in public. Mind you, I don't hide from people but I am very wary of those who recognize me at the Taco Bell or the local 7-11. I find that 1 in 3 is a happy former client or family member. The other 2 are prosecution witnesses I tore into or angry former clients or (much, much worse) the female relatives of a convicted former client. What can you say to a client's mother as she is yelling at you at McDonalds that you are the reason her son is spending the next 15 years in jail and that if you'd been a paid lawyer he wouldn't have been found guilty. Just once I want to turn around and yell back: "Well the next time the idiot wants to rob a bank tell him to wear a mask, not to turn and stare at the camera, not to rob it while 3 nuns are there to deposit the convent's funds, and not to try and spend the money after the dye pack exploded and stained it all." I've not done it and I pray I never will but the temptation is strong.

At least I haven't gotten to the point that I'm as paranoid as some of the Officers I know. A good number of them won't eat anywhere they can't see the food being prepared.

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