18 March 2008

The Things People Steal Nowadays

1. Ring (off finger of invalid).

2. Girl Scout funds (from cookie sales).

3. Cows (killed by mob).

4. Mother's ashes (returned).

5. Mobile phone (caught by rugby team).

6. Mountain bike (stopped by owner).

7. Meat (beaten down by owner with a ham).

8. Ham (caught drunk in the parking lot).

9. Computer games (the silver lined bag doesn't help much when the employees see you do it).

10. Meat and perfume (it's good to diversify).

11. Church charity boxes.

12. Copper (to the tune of 8 years).

13. Purses (of women who would take his offer to carry them).

14. Lead (stopped after his foot went thru the roof).

15. Vodka (because he was having a bad day).

16. Art (if you pawn famous works of art you will be caught).

17. Trash cans (6 months in jail).

18. Wallet (given back when she chased him down).

19. iPod (can't just take one because yours is broken).

20. Police car (the Sydney police caught on because he was driving erratically).


Anonymous said...

Hi Ken,

You missed a couple items popular up here in the WV panhandle. If you haven't yet seen any cases in Wise, you will.

- catalytic converters sawz-alled by the dozen from under vehicles on dealer lots or one right behind my house!

- batteries stolen by busting open the hood and cutting them out in the street.

I understand converters bring anywhere from $50 to $70 a piece, quite an incentive to steal them.
I traded in an old battery before it got stolen too for $6.50. Couldn't have given it away a few years ago.
How come the high prices? It all winds up on the boat to China. Eventually of course some of it makes its way back in a different form. To their credit the local police are now canvassing junk yards and scrap haulers, just like they do with pawn shops.

Ken Lammers said...

Gotta admit, haven't seen those yet. Our biggest problem is copper theft. Every guy with a truck seems to think that the mines) are just there so he can sneak in and steal coils of copper wire.