08 January 2005

Around the Web

1) It's not a DUI if the lady is in a mechanical wheelchair.

2) Don't talk to the FBI (or for that matter any federal agent) about anything, ever.

3) You know your case is going well when the judge stops testimony and says in open court that the testifying officer "is simply not a credible witness under oath."

4) Actually, while I understand the point that Fed84 is making, I must say that this is something which I would think fairly easily countered in closing argument: "So, what does the prosecutor want Client to do? Slug the officer? Is that what the prosecutor's saying? That instead of keeping the peace and obeying the orders of police officers an innocent person will attack the officer? That's ridiculous. Was he quiet because he was shocked? Was he quiet because he was afraid of the guys with the guns who were all around him? Either is more likely than someone obeying the officer because he was guilty."

5) Don't use a breath mint to mask the smell of alcohol. Beside the fact that it won't work it will make your breath test turn out higher.

6) Sheriffs really shouldn't get in trouble to begin with because it leads to further problems.

7) I'm a PD offers more clarification on what prosecutors in her jurisdiction look like from where she sits.

8) Whatdoyaknow? We aren't putting as many people in Virginia' prisons as we thought we would. Wow. It's hard to overestimate how many people Virginia will send to prison.

9) Imagine sitting in the prosecutor's office when he found out the Law & Order episode his BIG, EXPERT, Witness said he had helped write and which the same IMPORTANT, ALLKNOWING Witness said was what the defendant modeled her murder on - imagine sitting in that office when he found out that the episode never existed. He must not own a gun because I don't see anything in the article about him shooting the "expert".

10) No more "shock incarceration" in the federal system. You'll just have to serve that gazillion years in jail for jaywalking in front of the federal building.

11) From here you should be able to get to the vid of a death appeal argument in Connecticut. I can't vouch for it since I'm currently using dialup but Kirby's always been reliable.

12) Big Brother Alert: This takes cherry picking to a whole new level and if your police department has time to do it you are overpaying taxes because you have too many officers.

13) A discussion of the "Honest but Ign'ant CEO" defense can be found here and (more recently) here. This has got to be a case by case thing where you decide whether it is incompetence or willful blindness.
One aspect of the Ebbers trial that will be interesting is that, according to earlier reports, Ebbers completely avoided using e-mail to communicate with others in the company, which denies the government a source of information that has been a boon to its corporate fraud and obstruction of justice cases the past few years (e.g. Arthur Andersen, Frank Quattrone). Ebbers apparently refused to review written materials and only communicated orally with subordinates, not even using voice-mail. The usual paper trail in a fraud case may be missing here, and the trial could come down to whether the jury believes Sullivan or Ebbers. Ignorance without a paper trail may be bliss.
Having talked to a few businessmen, this may well be the business model of the future. Keeping any kind of record is extremely dangerous so only those which are required will even be made - whether they be paper or electronic or voice mail.

14) Is it nunc pro tunc when the government wants to add restitution 4-6 months after the sentencing date? I respectfully dissent doesn't think so and I'm inclined to agree.

15) Anti-Spam laws are failing. Yeah, I know. You're shocked!! Yahoo! does a very good job of weeding out Spam targeted at my account and, when I use it, AOL does an adequate job (although it also tends to get too large a portion of my real mail). Nevertheless, the infinitely creative spammers always get something through: V1.agr.a - re: enjoyed the beach (with the nude jpg in the post) - URGENT: MOST IMPORTANT REPLY REQUESTED HELLO. I AM THE SON OF BISTRON NEHANDRU, THE FORMER PRIME MINISTER OF NIGERIA . . .

16) In Alaska the judge rules it's the prosecutor's job to prosecute cases (not a victims' rights group).

17) I remember Jerry "The King" Lawler when wrestling wasn't the big production it is today. Every Saturday morning he, Jimmy "The Mouth of the South" Hart and these two announcer guys would be on TV. The ring seemed to have about 40-50 foldup chairs around it and looked like it was in some warehouse or studio with ugly brown curtains hung all the way round that made it look claustrophobic. All I really remember was a lot of yelling and some sort of drama when the "pile-driver" was made an illegal move (I didn't watch as much as many of my peers did). Of course, later on there were all the issues with the mentally deranged comic but I had long past stopped watching wrestling by then and only saw the hit on late night TV.

Which is a long way to go to point out that someone tried to burglarize the King. However, incompetence carried the day.

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